How to spot an intellectual misogynist (and what to do with one)

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How to spot an intellectual misogynist (and what to do with one)

Post by Sassy on Mon Jul 17, 2017 5:12 pm

They come in all shapes and sizes.

ave you ever had somebody try to explain logically why your feminist views are misdirected? Perhaps you’ve had to watch them draw you a graph, or even a pie chart, delineating why feminism should be replaced with the word "humanism".

Maybe you’ve tried to contribute to a conversation about sexual violence against women, only to have your opinion drowned out by the booming sound of a man’s voice citing statistics about male rape victims. If, like me, you have, then you have encountered the grim, bespectacled face of intellectualised misogyny.

To increase your chances of spotting a member of this species you might want to head to a university campus – being well-educated is a key aspect of their character. Considering themselves to be an intelligent and progressive member of our society is crucial, as is their often identifying (theoretically, of course) as a feminist. In fact, they might well know more about feminist theory than you do.

Often, this kind of individual is so well-versed in the principles of feminism, so familiar with feminist theory, that the whole thing has started to get a little boring, even jarring. Of course, to them, feminism makes sense logically, but when it comes to the gritty unavoidable matter of everyday feminism – the impassioned debates and irrational outbursts, their patience wears thin. They might tell you loftily how it’s such a shame that a small few keep ruining it for the many – like those rampant feminazis who run around free-bleeding all over everything.

You can spot an intellectual misogynist by where they are not. They probably weren’t at the women’s march, and they might not have attended that lecture series or debate on gender politics; because for them, it didn’t feel like an obligation.

They might have been one of those people who staged a walkout from the compulsory consent workshops at their university, or simply didn’t attend at all, because they found them to be patronising. I wonder whether, if later, some of those same people were accused of engaging in non-consensual sexual activity, it was because they thought it would be too patronising to make absolutely sure that their partner was consenting.

You can find this kind of individual behind closed doors, cracking the sort of jokes that they wouldn’t feel comfortable telling in public – racist or sexist jokes that are supposed to be (and sometimes are) funny because they are controversial. What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? You beat her. But if, when you look around the room, you can’t see anybody present from the demographic that the joke is directed at, then you probably shouldn’t be telling it. And if, even for a moment, the actions of the person telling the joke even slightly reflect the lack of respect for women that it implies, then they cease to be ironic.

An intellectual misogynist puts you in a bit of a bind when they tell a sexist joke like this, because if you don’t laugh, then you are likely to come across as lacking a sense of humour. Yet interestingly, these individuals are often the most lacking in humour when jokes are directed at them. You can often spot an intellectual misogynist at a feminist or BME comedy night by their expression of slight discomfort. They can take themselves fairly seriously, you see.

It’s going to be tricky to list every place in which you might spot an intellectual misogynist, because they are so prolific. They come in all shapes and sizes, and their intellectualised misogyny manifests itself in varying degrees of subtlety. They could be in the corner of a party lecturing somebody on all of the many pitfalls of third wave feminism, or by the bar explaining to someone why Nicki is a bad feminist (most of them really hate Nicki Minaj).

They could be in the queue for the bathroom censoriously arguing that it’s only worth listening to Burial on vinyl, or relentlessly banging on about Bukowski. They could be in the living room having a heated debate about politics, directing a little too much aggression at Diane Abbott. Or perhaps they’re on the loo upstairs flicking through Dan Bilzerian's Instagram feed, or outside in the garden, becoming a little awkward as the conversation turns to sexual assault.

And now I’ve told you how to spot an intellectual misogynist, I should probably offer some advice on what to do with them. A very important thing to keep in mind is that an intellectual misogynist can smell fear and uncertainty. Hold your ground when you are conversing with them – never back down and never apologise, even if you think you aren’t expressing yourself clearly.

Have faith in the fact that your opinion matters as much as theirs, and try to hold on to what you believe is right. Remember that you might not have had access to the same kind of resources as them, but as long as you try to keep yourself informed and engaged, you will be able to say something that matters.

Don’t let them bring up statistics in an argument if they can’t back them up – they’re probably just making them up. (Or alternatively, you could make up your own – 99.8 per cent of books were written by female authors under male pseudonyms is always a safe bet). Don’t let your voice be drowned out, and don’t allow yourself to feel undermined.

And if you think that you might be an intellectual misogynist, here are a few tips on how to stop being one. Next time you’re having a debate with someone about gender, try not to dominate the conversation if you don’t feel like you are in the oppressed minority – make a concerted effort to listen rather than lecture.

If you are an academic, remember you have a responsibility to lend an ear to the voices of the past and present that may have gone unheard, as well as those that are the loudest. Remember that your presence is vital at all kinds of debates, protests and discussions.

Even if you don’t feel as though a particular movement represents your demographic, don’t allow yourself to be absent. Be supportive, and show a quiet solidarity. Remember that there are certain topics that are particularly sensitive to certain people, and that those people can’t always be expected to be on top form in an argument – never dismiss them as hysterical.

Don’t play devil’s advocate with people’s emotions. Be patient, and think about the implications of everything you say. Keep in mind that there are times that it is appropriate to take the lead on something, and there are times that it isn’t, even if you think you know best.

And finally, if your dishwasher stops working – go and buy a new one.

http://www.newstatesman.com/politics/feminism/2017/07/how-spot-intellectual-misogynist-and-what-do-one


Some of them aren't even intellectual lol Now, who was it who told someone to go and wipe themselves because 'she must be wet by now'.

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Re: How to spot an intellectual misogynist (and what to do with one)

Post by Scrat. on Mon Jul 17, 2017 5:56 pm

Women take themselves far too seriously, lighten up, society is moving in the right direction, the younger generation carry the future, misogyny is simply a defence mechanism that the male ego can cling to.

I'm up for female company at any given opportunity but I draw the line when they start howling like a banshee  and throwing dangerous objects like the iron!
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Re: How to spot an intellectual misogynist (and what to do with one)

Post by Sassy on Tue Jul 18, 2017 11:17 am

Philagain1 wrote:
Scrat. wrote:Women take themselves far too seriously, lighten up, society is moving in the right direction, the younger generation carry the future, misogyny is simply a defence mechanism that the male ego can cling to.

I'm up for female company at any given opportunity but I draw the line when they start howling like a banshee  and throwing dangerous objects like the iron!

We are ALL equal now.

Amazing how SOME 'women' would demand special treatment in SOME cases.

Rolling Eyes

What 'special treatment' would that be, and that's a bit rich coming from you, who does thread after thread about the equality required quite rightly by gays.

Apart from anything else, both of you are talking about feminism, not misogyny.

Feminism is requiring equality for women, which still has not been achieved. Women in UK are paid nearly 10% less than men, woman with equal knowledge and experience still hardly ever break the 'glass ceiling' and on average two women a week are killed by partners or expartners and when the violence is reported before they die, it is not taken seriously and very often shrugged off as the woman being 'hysterical'. Last year there were only 7 women bosses on the FTSE 100 and that was hailed as a breakthrough. One in five women will endure some kind of sexual assault in their lives.

Misogyny is what men use to put women down, most of it they do without even realising. Scrat just did it 'women take themselves far too seriously, lighten up' about a serious subject.

Now Phil, when you are discussing things that happen to gay men, if I said to you 'gays take themselves far too seriously, lighten up', you wouldn't be very impressed would you.

I think this thread has proved a point without even trying.
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Re: How to spot an intellectual misogynist (and what to do with one)

Post by Scrat. on Tue Jul 18, 2017 2:56 pm

Philagain1 wrote:
Scrat. wrote:Women take themselves far too seriously, lighten up, society is moving in the right direction, the younger generation carry the future, misogyny is simply a defence mechanism that the male ego can cling to.

I'm up for female company at any given opportunity but I draw the line when they start howling like a banshee  and throwing dangerous objects like the iron!

We are ALL equal now.

Amazing how SOME 'women' would demand special treatment in SOME cases.

Rolling Eyes
Exactly, apart from existing socioeconomic factors we are almost living in virtual equality.

You often hear folk like Veya and Wolfe slagging off the British, basically that's because that's what little brothers do, their ears are full of our sounds, its Big Brother and "Cool Britannia" on the street, aloft!,,, our most treasured Union Jack flutters amongst the eucalyptus trees, and everywhere is English.

If I wasn't British and if I lived 10,000 miles away from actual culture, a decent conversation and modern toilet facilities, I too would wonder what the fuss is all about.

Colonial Anti British males from every corner of the globe remind me of some anti British women, those spoilt by jealousy and envy, who simply believe we can flick a switch and start becoming lesser than we are, it ain't gonna happen overnight.
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Re: How to spot an intellectual misogynist (and what to do with one)

Post by Sassy on Tue Jul 18, 2017 3:21 pm

Tell me that when two men a week are getting killed by their partners, when men's pay is 10% less that women, when able men can't become bosses because the bosses will only enable women. Tell me that when men do half the housework when their wives/girlfriends are working too, tell me that when men stop using the word 'c.nt' as a swear word, as if womens genitals were to be compared to someone disgusting. So, tell Phil that he should stop posting stuff about gays, because after all, we are all equal now and gays take themselves too seriously, metaphoric pat on the head and 'there there, be a good boy and stay in your place'.
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Re: How to spot an intellectual misogynist (and what to do with one)

Post by Sassy on Tue Jul 18, 2017 3:27 pm

BTW the thread is about MISOGYNY, not feminism

Just because women have equal rights doesnt mean there is no misogyny
Just because black/muslim people have equal rights doesnt mean there is no racism
Just because gays have equal rights doesnt mean there is no homophobia
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Re: How to spot an intellectual misogynist (and what to do with one)

Post by Scrat. on Tue Jul 18, 2017 3:56 pm

Calm down dear, stop taking it all so seriously society is at the threshold of equality, it's accepted practice amongst global trend setters.

Perhaps you should show some gratitude to the British trend setters who fight for equality and fairness, you disappoint me Sassy, I didn't think you were the type in whining on like a fat, ugly, skinhead in dirty dungarees, please get a grip!!! Most decent British males want equality across the board, l do and I've lived a life that's seen plenty of real poverty but has also witnessed the progress we're making as a species, I supported the ANC, travelled and lived in South Africa, I've taken instruction from homosexuals, black people, Asians, Jews, Germans, French American and yes!! Many of them females, all for which I have nothing but respect and admiration.

The British male is not going through an identity crisis, our distinctive sense of humour and our creative skills are still up there with the best, our culture and our language prevail, globally!

If some men are silly enough to hate women (misogyny) then I cannot understand them and would suggest that they are simply weak!
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Re: How to spot an intellectual misogynist (and what to do with one)

Post by Scrat. on Tue Jul 18, 2017 4:15 pm

It is rather peculiar, perhaps it's me! but when someone says that spreadshit Phil isacunt, I do not visualise a presentable pussy, nope, never,,,,, I visualise a Zionist multimillionaire inflicting misery, austerity and poverty.
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Re: How to spot an intellectual misogynist (and what to do with one)

Post by Sassy on Thu Jul 20, 2017 9:14 pm

And there you have it girls. Just remember, misogyny doesn't exist because a man says it doesn't. Kinda proves the point.

Meanwhile, out in the real word women have to put up with this kind of thing everyday:



British silence on the rail network is making it harder for women to speak up about being sexually assaulted, campaigners have said.

Figures obtained by BBC Radio 5 Live Investigates show that the number of reported sexual offences on trains has doubled in five years from 650 in 2012/13 to 1,448 in 2016/16.

The data, which was released by the British Transport Police following a freedom of information request, shows that the majority were sexual assaults on females aged over 13.

Campaigners said the figures, which cover England, Scotland and Wales and include the London Underground, showed that women were more comfortable reporting incidents to the police, but added that commuters needed to do more to look out for each other.

Rachel Krys, co-director of the End Violence Against Women Coalition, said: "As many times as you hear a good story about someone intervening to help, you hear another one about nothing happening.

"People don't interact on the Tube and this does take all of us interacting a little bit better and taking some responsibility for each other.

"We need to say we want a different type of transport system."

She said the organisation's research had showed that most incidents take place at rush hour when carriages are busy.

"It's an opportunistic crime in many ways and when the Tube is really full these perpetrators play on that, in that a woman is not really sure whether it's happened to her."

Busy carriages made it even more difficult for others to intervene, she added.

"Women are also thinking 'is this actually assault, what's actually happening' so it's really hard for a stranger to see what's happening.

"The likelihood of them saying something is very low. We could all be looking out for each other a bit more."

Many of the reported assaults involve men pressing up against or groping a victim, often in a busy carriage.

In 2015 Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn, who at the time was campaigning for the leadership, was criticised for suggesting that women-only carriages could be considered to reduce attacks.

Ms Krys called the idea "extremely problematic". "Some men feel like they have more right to the space than women", she said.

"We need equal spaces - we need freedom for women," she added.

Detective Chief Inspector Darren Malpas from the British Transport Police said: "Tackling all forms of unwanted sexual behaviour on public transport is a priority for British Transport Police and we have worked hard in recent years to send a clear message to victims that they will be taken seriously and we will investigate offences."

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/07/20/british-silence-public-transport-makes-harder-stop-sexual-assault/

Listening to Jeremy Vine on this subject today while waiting for OH to have his xray. The stories were appalling and so many women said they were afraid to use public transport after having it happen to them.


BTW, the OP was pointed out to me by a gentleman on this forum, a good friend, he completely agreed with it, which is why he passed it on to me.
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Re: How to spot an intellectual misogynist (and what to do with one)

Post by Sassy on Thu Jul 20, 2017 9:19 pm

http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b08xy0nv#play

First bit of the show.

I intend to make sure women are treated better and not stick my head in the sand, go la la la and pretend that everything in the garden in rosy, I have my grandaughts to fight for and any daughters they have et al.

Don't ever let a man tell you what a woman's story is, because when they do that, some don't even realise that what they are doing is misogynist and overbearing.
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