Top Chav Towns

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Top Chav Towns

Post by Seren on Mon Jan 09, 2012 2:05 pm

New entry in, and guess what it's Cheltenham....so had to post it here..

Cheltenham
Posted on January 8, 2012 by Anonymous
Hester’s Way in Cheltenham is home to some serious pond life. In the Edinburgh Square shopping precinct you can find the
holy trinity of ‘Chav’ retail therapy in a row – Greggs, Farmfoods and a Cheque Centre instant cash shop.
The local Oompa Loompas can then nip round the corner to the Consol Suncenter to top up their instant tan.

Cheltenham is the most racist place I’ve ever found in England. I worked there for about 18 months and regularly heard the words ‘c**n’ and ‘n*gger’ bandied about in the office.

The town is home to a ludicrous bunch of pricks who call themselves the ‘Cheltenham Volunteer Force’.
These bell ends have set up their own website with Lacoste and Stone Island logos and of course the obligatory Burberry check background.
The CVF even dared to take on the mighty Rushden Diamonds firm on their own patch. One of them managed to work out how to work
the camera to capture the big day out: http://cvfyouth.webs.com/picsetc.htm

When they’re not masturbating furiously over Danny Dyer they like to indulge in serious political debate. You can find links to the BNP and English Defence League if you wait long enough for the pages to download (web design is a difficult skill to master when your knuckles scrape along the ground).

By: Olly Cocker

http://www.chavtowns.co.uk/

Now is it true though?

Seren
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Re: Top Chav Towns

Post by Seren on Mon Jan 09, 2012 2:32 pm

Found this cracking comment on the site..

the_chavmeister says:
June 10, 2005 at 10:14 am
A Solution to the CHAV infestation:

Perhaps it’s time we wrote to “Our Tone” and suggested a potential solution to the CHAV epidemic that will inevitably overrun our once-fair country:

Dear Tone,

Please start a war with a major foreign power!

I suggest you target somewhere that has some real “nastly-lil-cants” in it. (Japan, Israel or anywhere in the South China Seas spring to mind).

As our once-mighty military forces have dwindled due to lack of funding and investment, please feel free to conscript all the CHAVS that now infest our town centres (or indeed anyone caught in the possession of a Big Mac or Baseball cap). Equip them with the most basic of training, (they can use their own (usually concealed)weapons) and send them all to “do their bit” for queen and country.

With a bit of good old British bad-planning and lack of foresight, this will almost certainly result in complete annihilation of our new “elite” force.

Not only will this give you the opportunity to appear on television, and act in an appealing (to the voters) and self-humbling manner, but it will also solve other social problems, to which the government does not appear to have any immediate solution including:

A massive reduction in street-crime and related violence
An almost immediate end to social inequalities and “the drug problem”
Freeing up of massive “welfare benefit” resources, which can then be spent on “repelling the borders”
Cleaning up “deprived” inner-city areas
A reduction in the need to construct “social housing”
Releasing the strain on over-burdened (CHAV)public “facilities” such as maternity wards and prisons
The closure of 100s of McDonalds and Burger King “American Shit” outlets which pollute our high streets

Hopefully, this will also calm the population explosion, and remove a fair bit of congestion from our creaking roads system. This will then allow the rest of us, normal citizens, the freedom to move around and go about our daily business, without the usual intimidation. We could then return to traditional forms of enjoyment, such as fox hunting, visiting the countryside, picnicking, visiting museums and setting fire to speed cameras.

I do hope this assists you in your quest for a “better Britain”. If you need any more help or advice, please do not hesitate to contact us via http://www.chavtowns.co.uk

Yours sincerely

The_chavmeister

By the way, its a joke sassy ok, just a joke

Seren
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Re: Top Chav Towns

Post by Nems Again on Mon Jan 09, 2012 5:38 pm

Seren wrote:New entry in, and guess what it's Cheltenham....so had to post it here..



Now is it true though?

Blimey, they cant have been to Huyton!

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Re: Top Chav Towns

Post by Guest on Mon Jan 09, 2012 6:21 pm

Seren wrote:Found this cracking comment on the site..



By the way, its a joke sassy ok, just a joke

Made me giggle! Not that I have ever watched it, but it would decimate 'The Only Way is Essex'!!!!!!

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Re: Top Chav Towns

Post by Seren on Mon Jan 09, 2012 8:15 pm

Nems Again wrote:

Blimey, they cant have been to Huyton!

for you Nems..

Huyton (should be called Shiteon)
Posted on August 15, 2007 by Anonymous
What a dump this place is and full of the most useless scallies you can come across (sorry, scallies have no use). The main shopping area is populated by Lacoste tracksuit wearing lads and 11 year old orange faced girls pushing prams with 4 kids in. There is even a feral scally girl who attempts to sell fruit to passers by in the main street but no one understands a word she f**king says as she speaks an obcure dialogue that is not even recognised by Ethnologue.com.

There are many cock end scallies wandering about the town centre with f**k all to do with their time apart from go to Mcdonalds, shoplift from sportswear shops, harrass people who want to mind their own business or pretend to unleash their steroid enhanced pit bulls on people, if this fails you can always find a black or asian person to abuse or write “Bizzies suck black cock” on bus shelters.

“THE” Asda as all the old biddies call it is simply populated by, well old biddies who spend the entire day wandering around without spending any money in the hope that they can bump into another old biddy to discuss the latest pensioner who has died or is on their last legs. They then return home about 5pm to let the night shift of old biddies to walk around all night doing the same. I never knew ASDA would hold such interest to people.

Walk back into the residential area, near woolfall heath, there are many off licences and chippies about to feed and get the 8 year olds pissed. The chippies act as a place where older scally lads can shag under age girls round the back. The scallies only ned to show ID to the off licence staff particularly on twig lane to show that they are over 5 to get ciggies and cider I witnessed some scally mother shouting at the staff for serving her rat beer, after a volley of abuse she said “Ee arr luv give us tweny lambert an butler like”. Twig Lane and Woolfall Heath have had speed bumps installed to stop dickhead scallies racing up and down and running over toddlers, however this has not deterred them from wrecking their cars in a pathetic attempt to look hard, oh yeah and I am sure all the cars were obtained legit too.

The local post office is populated with fat ugly angry looking people who look like they have cleaned their face with a scouring pad, the old people are even worse. If you dare to inconvenience them by sending a parcel abroad and holding up the queue you will get more hostility directed at you than an american soldier in Iraq. Then it’s straight off to spend the giro on methodone when you’ve exceeded the allowed quota.

If you want a bit of entertainment you can go to the Oak Tree pub which is the smokiest pub of all time, the fire brigade should do their training there. Me and my mate went in once and were looked up and down many times in the belief that we were “bizzies”. Mind you they do have morals in here, they did fill in some burglar who would only burgle women’s houses, well thats ok then as long as he never burgled a fella’s house.

Go up by Roby station and you will be lucky to get past the church as there are a scumbags hanging around in the shadows waiting for anyone who they can rob a mobile phone off or a wallet. They’sd slit their grannies throat for a tenner.

Further up is the Bluebell estate where Stevie G came from, wonder if he ever wants to go back there? – swop Freshfield for Huyton? nar don’t think he will!

A f**k awful place that seems to be permanently grey even in a summer heatwave.

Seren
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Re: Top Chav Towns

Post by Guest on Mon Jan 09, 2012 8:36 pm

What a load of rubbish, don't listen

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Re: Top Chav Towns

Post by Guest on Mon Jan 09, 2012 8:42 pm

Feelthelove wrote: What a load of rubbish, don't listen

You are ok FTL, you're not an 'Essex girl' but a 'Suffolk girl' altogether different!

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Re: Top Chav Towns

Post by Guest on Mon Jan 09, 2012 8:45 pm

sassy1261 wrote:

You are ok FTL, you're not an 'Essex girl' but a 'Suffolk girl' altogether different!

Some miserable git has put the little town where I live on this site Sassy

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Re: Top Chav Towns

Post by Guest on Mon Jan 09, 2012 8:48 pm

Feelthelove wrote:

Some miserable git has put the little town where I live on this site Sassy

What! Miserable bugger! You raise the tone dear!

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Re: Top Chav Towns

Post by Guest on Mon Jan 09, 2012 8:51 pm

sassy1261 wrote:

What! Miserable bugger! You raise the tone dear!

I'd rather hit him with my pan lol!

Flippin cheek!

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Re: Top Chav Towns

Post by Seren on Mon Jan 09, 2012 9:46 pm

Feelthelove wrote:

Some miserable git has put the little town where I live on this site Sassy

don't worry, my home town has multiple entries..

Seren
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Re: Top Chav Towns

Post by Guest on Mon Jan 09, 2012 9:49 pm

Seren wrote:

don't worry, my home town has multiple entries..

Thats worrying, knowing what you feel about chavs, I'll keep an eye out for reports of mangled chavs littering the streets!!!!! Shocked affraid lol!

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Re: Top Chav Towns

Post by Seren on Mon Jan 09, 2012 9:58 pm

sassy1261 wrote:

Thats worrying, knowing what you feel about chavs, I'll keep an eye out for reports of mangled chavs littering the streets!!!!! Shocked affraid lol!

nah, they've nothing to fear from me..

just avoid their haunts, stay out of bother that's me

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Re: Top Chav Towns

Post by Nems Again on Tue Jan 10, 2012 10:38 am

Have to say, Huyton is spot on! They do call it THE Asda, the nut nut with the fruit stall is gone now. But there is a lovely chap who sells football flags kits and kids toys etc. Shocked
Woolfall Heath!! If you listen carefully going through Woolfall Heath you can hear the faint strains of duelling banjos.
Lots of women with four kids, one of whom will have football eyes ( one home one away)
Not many pitbulls now though, the Husky is this years Chav dog of choice.

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Re: Top Chav Towns

Post by Seren on Tue Jan 10, 2012 10:54 am

Nems Again wrote:Have to say, Huyton is spot on! They do call it THE Asda, the nut nut with the fruit stall is gone now. But there is a lovely chap who sells football flags kits and kids toys etc. Shocked
Woolfall Heath!! If you listen carefully going through Woolfall Heath you can hear the faint strains of duelling banjos.
Lots of women with four kids, one of whom will have football eyes ( one home one away)
Not many pitbulls now though, the Husky is this years Chav dog of choice.

God I've noticed that. I quite like huskies and have been seeing loads more recently. That explains it then.

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Re: Top Chav Towns

Post by Nems Again on Tue Jan 10, 2012 2:08 pm

Seren wrote:

God I've noticed that. I quite like huskies and have been seeing loads more recently. That explains it then.

Yup, the shelters are full of staffs and pit bulls. I know of one couple that have 2, a bitch and a dog in a one bed flat.
With a puppy going for £600 you can guess why.

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Re: Top Chav Towns

Post by Guest on Tue Jan 10, 2012 2:34 pm

Nems Again wrote:

Yup, the shelters are full of staffs and pit bulls. I know of one couple that have 2, a bitch and a dog in a one bed flat.
With a puppy going for £600 you can guess why.

Poor dogs! Its madness for them to have huskies, beautiful dogs, but they really need loads of exercise and want to run for a long time.

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Re: Top Chav Towns

Post by Nems Again on Tue Jan 10, 2012 2:48 pm

sassy1261 wrote:

Poor dogs! Its madness for them to have huskies, beautiful dogs, but they really need loads of exercise and want to run for a long time.

Its terrible isnt it Sad

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Re: Top Chav Towns

Post by Guest on Tue Jan 10, 2012 3:03 pm

Nems Again wrote:

Its terrible isnt it Sad

Huskies are very expensive dogs and only come from breeders normally. Why aren't the breeders checking what homes they are going to? Ah guess, because they would make less money if they did!

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Re: Top Chav Towns

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