Not Sure About Social Services

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Not Sure About Social Services

Post by Guest on Sat Oct 22, 2011 3:57 pm

I've just had some fantastic news, just the best. My brother and his wife lost a baby girl when she was eight months old, natural causes very sad indeed as a part of the backdrop, but not really that relevant, they have just adopted a one year old. Our darling neice their baby can never be replaced we know that and wouldn't ever dream of it.

They have been trying to adopt for the last two years and went through the training/processes. On Monday they got a call to say they had a one year old girl that they thought they'd like to adopt and arranged a meeting last week, they were due to have her this week. They knew she was the baby for them and accepted but felt the foster family were cold towards them.

Unbeknown to them until Friday the foster family had also put in an application to adopt her and had looked after her from 10 days old. They have fostered for years so must be a good family. It seems awfully hard on them. I know we don't have the full story and the baby now has a lovely home with fantastic parents, but I feel for the foster family too. The baby was picked up by social services yesterday instead of leaving her with them for their final weekend.

I am so happy for my family and can't wait to meet her just wondered what others thought.


Our family don't know the full reasons behind social services decision but I can't help be delighted for my family and sad for the foster family.


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Re: Not Sure About Social Services

Post by Guest on Sat Oct 22, 2011 4:42 pm

How wonderful for your brother and sis-n-law x I know I'm unsuitable to become a foster parent because I'd never want to give them back...so can understand perfectly why a family would want to keep a child they'd come to love and care for since she was 10 days old.

Will the Social Services allow the foster family to have contact. ?
Do they want contact. ?
Do your brother and sis-in-law want them to have contact ?
I don't understand why the SS didn't let her stay for her last week-end, but they know best.

So sad about your niece it must have been incredibly tough on all the family. Sad

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Re: Not Sure About Social Services

Post by Guest on Sat Oct 22, 2011 4:50 pm

Angel wrote:How wonderful for your brother and sis-n-law x I know I'm unsuitable to become a foster parent because I'd never want to give them back...so can understand perfectly why a family would want to keep a child they'd come to love and care for since she was 10 days old.

Will the Social Services allow the foster family to have contact. ?
Do they want contact. ?
Do your brother and sis-in-law want them to have contact ?
I don't understand why the SS didn't let her stay for her last week-end, but they know best.

So sad about your niece it must have been incredibly tough on all the family. Sad

Thank you Angel xx


When they have adopted her I believe that Social Services won't have a say, that will happen in around six weeks.

My sister in law is a fantastic woman and has said that they can have their farewell party when they are feeling strong enough just to let her know, she has sent them texts already to update them on how she is settling in.

I don't know why SS thought they were good enough to foster for a year but not to adopt but we don't know the whole story. They must be devastated and I do feel for them while I have never met them.

Yes losing the baby was awful, the worst time, it was all so sudden, sniffy in the morning and no longer with us by the nighttime. As a family we have thrown ourselves into fundraising for CRY, Cardiac Risk in the Young as our way of dealing with it. The parents led the funeral as a celebration of my nieces life not the loss of a baby, and focus on how much she gave to people in her short time with us, incredible. I could never be so brave, I know I couldn't, I am in awe of how they dealt with it while knowing behind closed doors they'd have had their moments.





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Re: Not Sure About Social Services

Post by SEXY MAMA on Sat Oct 22, 2011 5:59 pm

Well firstly congrats to your brother and sister in law Class.

Secondly yes its sound devastating for the foster family as they looked after her when she was only 10 days old.

But im sure the social services know what they are doing.
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Re: Not Sure About Social Services

Post by Guest on Sat Oct 22, 2011 10:47 pm

Congratulations Class and Family Very Happy x

Of course you can't help but feel for the foster family, it's only natural Sad

However, there are so many children waiting to be adopted this little girl is one of the lucky ones with two families wanting to love her.

At the end of the day that has to be a fantastic result. She didn't have the greatest start but her future is certainly looking bright cheers

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Re: Not Sure About Social Services

Post by Guest on Sun Oct 23, 2011 5:37 am

Thanks Sexy and FTL, she certainly will be loved and cared for as I'm sure she has been since she was fostered. It is great news. Her biological mum has learning difficulties and not much is known about the father. Mum wouldn't feed her, apparantly social services tried by installing stuff in her home but it must have been pretty much hopeless to remove the baby so soon.

If she's mentally ill to that extent she simply wasn't capable. Apparantly she's pointing to what she wants and her minions my nephew and neice are racing each other to get it for her.

We will be meeting her in the next week when I am sure I'll be an auntie bore again. They live 100 miles away and currently Sis in laws family are rightly there all of the time. We'll wait for them to come to us with her, as it is what they want and we'll have our special time meeting her soon.

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