Help Understanding Sexual Attraction Please

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Help Understanding Sexual Attraction Please

Post by Guest on Wed Jul 06, 2011 7:34 am

OK, OK I know I should have been asking these kind of questions 25-30 years ago but hey, I've lead a sheltered life Very Happy x

I've had this rattling around in my head for a few days now and it's starting to irritate me - hopefully you can help me make sense of it all!

Someone told me that he and his friend sometimes pretend that they are gay when they are out (why???!). When I asked him how you pretend to be gay because I was curious he told me that I should be careful because it could lead to me being bi-curious and then to being gay. Bearing in mind that a person's sexuality is inbuilt that of course, isn't possible.

Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't rule out sex with a woman, it's just I've never found one that I was attracted to in that way. This is because I am straight (with an open mind to things sexual I guess!!!).

So in terms of people who are bi-sexual they are attracted to either sex. The guys that David sometimes calls GAWS could be potentially men who can't accept they are gay or bi-sexual and enjoy sex with both men and women. This attraction being instinctive.

If we can't help who we are sexually attracted to surely people who are attracted to children cannot be "cured" in the same way you can't "cure" me from being straight? If this is the case how can paedophiles be safely released back into society?

Anyway I'll leave you with that thought as I have to go to work. I think I've confused myself even more, my head hurts confused

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Re: Help Understanding Sexual Attraction Please

Post by Guest on Wed Jul 06, 2011 2:59 pm

Well I can't comment on what attracts women to men, as Mrs D fancies me! affraid lol!

However, I'm not sure that men can "fake" sexual attraction, as surely things wouldn't "work" if they were faking it? Question

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Re: Help Understanding Sexual Attraction Please

Post by Guest on Wed Jul 06, 2011 7:18 pm

Feelthelove wrote:OK, OK I know I should have been asking these kind of questions 25-30 years ago but hey, I've lead a sheltered life Very Happy x

I've had this rattling around in my head for a few days now and it's starting to irritate me - hopefully you can help me make sense of it all!

Someone told me that he and his friend sometimes pretend that they are gay when they are out (why???!). When I asked him how you pretend to be gay because I was curious he told me that I should be careful because it could lead to me being bi-curious and then to being gay. Bearing in mind that a person's sexuality is inbuilt that of course, isn't possible.

Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't rule out sex with a woman, it's just I've never found one that I was attracted to in that way. This is because I am straight (with an open mind to things sexual I guess!!!).

So in terms of people who are bi-sexual they are attracted to either sex. The guys that David sometimes calls GAWS could be potentially men who can't accept they are gay or bi-sexual and enjoy sex with both men and women. This attraction being instinctive.

If we can't help who we are sexually attracted to surely people who are attracted to children cannot be "cured" in the same way you can't "cure" me from being straight? If this is the case how can paedophiles be safely released back into society?

Anyway I'll leave you with that thought as I have to go to work. I think I've confused myself even more, my head hurts confused

Bisexual= greedy... Laughing Laughing

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Re: Help Understanding Sexual Attraction Please

Post by Guest on Wed Jul 06, 2011 7:24 pm

redcorvette wrote:

Bisexual= greedy... Laughing Laughing

But it does double your chances on a night out! Twisted Evil affraid lol!

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Re: Help Understanding Sexual Attraction Please

Post by Guest on Wed Jul 06, 2011 7:26 pm

MrDoodles wrote:

But it does double your chances on a night out! Twisted Evil affraid lol!

You two aren't helping me you know!!! Very Happy

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Re: Help Understanding Sexual Attraction Please

Post by Guest on Wed Jul 06, 2011 7:33 pm

Feelthelove wrote:

You two aren't helping me you know!!! Very Happy

sorry, about that saw that line on the series...gimme...gimme....

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Re: Help Understanding Sexual Attraction Please

Post by Guest on Wed Jul 06, 2011 7:36 pm

redcorvette wrote:

sorry, about that saw that line on the series...gimme...gimme....

I used to watch it too Red, very funny lol! x

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Re: Help Understanding Sexual Attraction Please

Post by Guest on Wed Jul 06, 2011 7:54 pm

Feelthelove wrote:

I used to watch it too Red, very funny lol! x

what you were saying I don't believe all are born that way....a friend of my daughters had two very bad relationships with men and then turned to another woman....they have been together nearly nine years....

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Re: Help Understanding Sexual Attraction Please

Post by Guest on Wed Jul 06, 2011 8:02 pm

redcorvette wrote:

what you were saying I don't believe all are born that way....a friend of my daughters had two very bad relationships with men and then turned to another woman....they have been together nearly nine years....

Thank you for your opinion Red x OK so you think that the woman you know has chosen to be with another woman because of her bad relationships with men rather than

a) she preferred women all along?
b) she was attracted to both men and women? OR
c) ????
scratch

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Re: Help Understanding Sexual Attraction Please

Post by Guest on Wed Jul 06, 2011 8:18 pm

Feelthelove wrote:

Thank you for your opinion Red x OK so you think that the woman you know has chosen to be with another woman because of her bad relationships with men rather than

a) she preferred women all along?
b) she was attracted to both men and women? OR
c) ????
scratch

she told me she was never attracted to women....her bad experience with men scarred her badly....hense...she turned to another female..

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Re: Help Understanding Sexual Attraction Please

Post by Guest on Wed Jul 06, 2011 8:43 pm

redcorvette wrote:

she told me she was never attracted to women....her bad experience with men scarred her badly....hense...she turned to another female..

That's very sad Red. So is it more of a friendship, companionship rather than a sexual relationship? Is she happy?

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Re: Help Understanding Sexual Attraction Please

Post by Guest on Wed Jul 06, 2011 8:57 pm

Feelthelove wrote:

That's very sad Red. So is it more of a friendship, companionship rather than a sexual relationship? Is she happy?

yes, I think so....they moved to Wales and set up a business there.....together nearly nine years....she deserves to be happy a gem of a girl.... flower

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Re: Help Understanding Sexual Attraction Please

Post by Guest on Wed Jul 06, 2011 8:59 pm

I think that women naturally are attracted to other women, we compliment each other, borrow each others stuff etc

It's just that we don't take that final step, well most of us don't

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Re: Help Understanding Sexual Attraction Please

Post by Guest on Wed Jul 06, 2011 9:04 pm

Seren wrote:I think that women naturally are attracted to other women, we compliment each other, borrow each others stuff etc

It's just that we don't take that final step, well most of us don't

I agree, women can appreciate each other's attractiveness but men find it much harder to do the same, I don't know why but they do. Maybe it's pressure from other men?

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Re: Help Understanding Sexual Attraction Please

Post by Guest on Wed Jul 06, 2011 9:08 pm

Feelthelove wrote:

I agree, women can appreciate each other's attractiveness but men find it much harder to do the same, I don't know why but they do. Maybe it's pressure from other men?

Yes, you go out on a night out as a group and be obsessed with your best mates dress or makeup or hair all night, not out of envy just that it is so attractive

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Re: Help Understanding Sexual Attraction Please

Post by Guest on Wed Jul 06, 2011 9:15 pm

Feelthelove wrote:

I agree, women can appreciate each other's attractiveness but men find it much harder to do the same, I don't know why but they do. Maybe it's pressure from other men?

cynical hat on.....a guy once said to me "men give love to get sex...women give sex to get love" Rolling Eyes

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Re: Help Understanding Sexual Attraction Please

Post by Guest on Wed Jul 06, 2011 9:20 pm

redcorvette wrote:

cynical hat on.....a guy once said to me "men give love to get sex...women give sex to get love" Rolling Eyes

Sadly I think that is probably true in many circumstances Red Sad

Maybe girls rather than women perhaps? Women give sex to get sex don't you think? scratch

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Re: Help Understanding Sexual Attraction Please

Post by Guest on Wed Jul 06, 2011 9:52 pm

Feelthelove wrote:

Sadly I think that is probably true in many circumstances Red Sad

Maybe girls rather than women perhaps? Women give sex to get sex don't you think? scratch

How can I put it.....I would rather be called a prude than a slapper....when I was off work I watched Jeremy Kyle show....the kind of programme that makes me cringe....I thought girls had wised-up...was I seriously mistaken...they were either stupid/thick or both... affraid affraid

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Re: Help Understanding Sexual Attraction Please

Post by Guest on Thu Jul 07, 2011 12:10 pm

redcorvette wrote:

How can I put it.....I would rather be called a prude than a slapper....when I was off work I watched Jeremy Kyle show....the kind of programme that makes me cringe....I thought girls had wised-up...was I seriously mistaken...they were either stupid/thick or both... affraid affraid

Jeremy Kyle affraid lol!

I don't watch but I can imagine Red. I guess when we are younger and less experienced we are more likely to be easily manipulated into doing things we are not altogether comfortable with.

I can't understand why anyone would want to air their dirty linen on TV!


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Re: Help Understanding Sexual Attraction Please

Post by Guest on Thu Jul 07, 2011 12:12 pm

Seren wrote:

Yes, you go out on a night out as a group and be obsessed with your best mates dress or makeup or hair all night, not out of envy just that it is so attractive

So on that basis Seren I guess it is more likely for women to be bi-sexual than men? scratch


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Re: Help Understanding Sexual Attraction Please

Post by Guest on Thu Jul 07, 2011 6:37 pm

Just a thought (I have my philosophical hat on, funny considering I'm about to mention ancient Greece...): But in ancient Greece love between male friends was not uncommon. Alexander the Great himself may have been than friends with his Hephstasion.

It may be a result of religious teaching that has resulted in male/male sexual relationships being seen as 'disgusting' by some (though happily a dying opinion). Following the set belief sex was for men and wome alone; and the more explicit forbidding of men 'lying' with other men.

This view being passed on generation after generation for hundreds or thousands of years could easily result in our views today. Just possibly.

These 2 straight guys certainly don't seem too disturbed or disgusted at guys playing around with guys:

Very Happy

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Re: Help Understanding Sexual Attraction Please

Post by Guest on Thu Jul 07, 2011 7:58 pm

Hi Eilzel I love you x

I fear it seems religion has much to answer for!!! Fortunately times have changed and people are much more accepting, willing to explore their own and each others feelings and sexuality.

Prejudice against others because of who they find attractive, because of who they love, has no place in today's society. Life is short, life is for living after all cheers x


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Re: Help Understanding Sexual Attraction Please

Post by Guest on Thu Jul 07, 2011 9:02 pm

Feelthelove wrote:Hi Eilzel I love you x

I fear it seems religion has much to answer for!!! Fortunately times have changed and people are much more accepting, willing to explore their own and each others feelings and sexuality.

Prejudice against others because of who they find attractive, because of who they love, has no place in today's society. Life is short, life is for living after all cheers x


And being SEXY.... cheers cheers

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Re: Help Understanding Sexual Attraction Please

Post by Guest on Thu Jul 07, 2011 9:07 pm

redcorvette wrote:

And being SEXY.... cheers cheers

So true Red xxx

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Re: Help Understanding Sexual Attraction Please

Post by Guest on Thu Jul 07, 2011 9:39 pm

Feelthelove wrote:

So true Red xxx

wonder if there was any chance Seren could bring us the wiggerly wave...

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